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It is easy for me to talk. It is easy to think when another is talking as I prepare to talk. My tendency is to think and talk, think and talk.
It is difficult to listen. It is difficult to internalize what a person is discussing without thinking ahead at the expense of listening.
Listen is defined as: to hear something with thoughtful attention : give consideration listen to a plea. (Webster). “Thoughtful attention” is the key to what it means to listen. “Thoughtful attention” cannot be done without thinking only about the message. As the definition says when one is listening he is giving the message “thoughtful attention.”
I now try listen. This means I concentrate on listening. Listening changes how I process. This is because I hear the message with “thoughtful attention.” Two things happen: I internalize the message without filtering it with thoughts on response; and, the speaker intuitively realizes this and infers I care.
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