April 1st, 2013

Listen with Your Heart

Gerry Spence teaches decisions are made from the heart. He says people decide what to do at an emotional level. They then move to the cerebral cortex to verbally justify their emotional conviction. In this way the decision appears to be a well thought out rational decision-at least it is explained that way.

If Spence is right we are biologically programmed to make decisions from the heart. We are programmed from thousands of years of evolution to trust our heart. Since the birth of rationalism we are taught to make decisions from the cerebral cortex. We are taught to take emotion out of the equation. A decision is supposed to emanate from the mind and therefore it is deemed “rational.”

But are thousands of years of evolution to be cast aside in the name of “rational” thought? Why not yield to what we have successfully done from the beginning of time? That is listen to our heart; admit we make decisions from the heart; and, admit decisions made from the heart are the best decisions we make. Listen with your heart, trust your heart, and go where your heart directs.

    August 13th, 2012

    We are a Diamond

    There is only one of us. We are different than anyone else. No other person has our looks, our voice and experiences from birth. This means no other person sees the world in the same way we see the world. This means we are able to offer a perspective that is unique to us and unique to the world.

    Because we are different than all others we have a presence that brings variety, that brings something different, and that others can learn from. We learn from others, and others learn from us.

    Our differences make us like a diamond. No two diamonds are the same. Each diamond has its own beauty. Some may be thought to be more beautiful than others, but the lesser diamond from a beauty standpoint may be better from a work standpoint. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. The key is to be ourself, give the gifts only we have, and contribute our uniqueness. This makes the world a better place.

      July 8th, 2012

      Challenge Beats Compliancy


      Compliance is easy. We get stuck in a rut when we become compliant. Once in a rut it is hard to move out. Challenge defeats compliance. When we choose to challenge ourself we choose to live out of our comfort zone. We choose to push ourself to a greater height.

      By choosing to challenge ourself we have the opportunity to accomplish something worthwhile. It may be to get to a higher level of fitness and health. It may be to further our career. It may be to be real and forthcoming in our relationships.

      Whatever we choose by challenging ourself we have a chance of accomplishment. By challenging ourself we live at a higher level. By challenging ourself we push through compliance to become what we are capable of being. Life is short. Now is the time to challenge ourself and live a life we can look back on without the regret of quitting. 

        June 17th, 2012

        Building a Relationship

        Carl Rogers in his 1961 classic On Becoming a Person discusses building a relationship. He teaches the first step in building a meaningful relationship is to be genuine. This sounds simple and obvious but it is not. We often project something we want to be or something we want another to think we are. But this false projection dooms any hope of building a constructive relationship.

        To be genuine we must be aware of our feelings. We must then express the feelings and attitudes which exist within us. “It is only in this way that the relationship can have reality, and reality … [is] deeply important as a first condition [of a meaningful relationship]”. Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person (1961).

        Rogers said this over fifty years ago. He was right then and his words remain true today. Drop pretense be yourself and allow yourself to be real in your relationships. You and those in relationships with you will go beyond a false facade into a meaningful relationship.

          June 10th, 2012

          How to Act (from Marcus Aurelius)

          Never under compulsion, out of selfishness, without forethought, with misgivings.

          Don’t gussy up your thoughts.

          No surplus words or unnecessary actions.

          Let the spirit in you represent a person who moves forward like a soldier patiently awaiting your recall from life. Needing no oath or witness.

          Cheerfulness. Without requiring other people’s help. Or serenity supplied by others.

          To stand up straight-not straightened.

          Marcus Aurelius, Meditations (edited by PAT).

            June 2nd, 2012

            Tragedy in Seattle

            This edited passage from Stephen King 11/22/63 is in memory of the tragic killings that occurred in Seattle on May 30, 2012:

            When I saw Mike squeeze Bobbi Jill’s hand, telling her by touch to counterspin and shoot through his legs, I was suddenly back in Seattle, watching Bevvie-from-the-levee and Ritchie-from-the-ditchie.

            It’s all of a piece. It’s an echo so close to perfect you can’t tell  which one is the living voice and which is the ghost-voice returning.

            For a moment everything was clear, and when that happens you see that the world is barely there at all. Don’t we all secretly know this? It’s a perfectly balanced mechanism of shouts and echoes pretending to be wheels of cogs, a dreamclock chiming beneath a mystery-glass we call life.

            Behind it? Below it and around it? Chaos, storms. Men with guns. People who twist what they cannot dominate and cannot understand. A universe of horror and loss surrounding a single lighted stage where mortals dance in defiance of the dark.

              May 27th, 2012


              Manners were important in the 1950’s. Manners started to lose importance in the 1960’s with the whatever free spirit attitude. This flowed into the 70’s, and evolved into the what’s in it for me 80’s and 90’s. Now in the techno twenty first century many are too self centered and technologically isolated to be concerned with manners.

              But manners still have their place. Try the following:

              Greeting. Personally relate to daily contact people. Great the store cashier, the bank teller, the barista, the … with “Hi how are you today.” Look at the person and thank him or her when leaving.

              “You’re Welcome.” When someone thanks you say “you’re welcome,” as opposed to “no sweat” or “no problem.”

              “Pardon Me.” When walking closely in front of a person or brushing a person say “pardon me.”

              Cell Phone. Set cell phone to vibrate. Do not answer cell phone when in the company of others especially only one other. Same for texting. Do not talk on cell phone in public places including parks  and  trails where people seek solitude.

              Respond. Respond to invitations, telephone calls, letters and personal e-mails.

              Thank you. Write a thank you note when you have been a guest.

              Timeliness. Be on time.

              Think About Other Person. As for a manners guide treat the other person how you want to be treated.

                May 13th, 2012

                Use Your Gifts

                The belief in a natural hierarchy is no longer given credence by thinking people. Although the gifts we receive at birth are naturally (but unequally) distributed, this does not make a person with more gifts better than another.

                In life “all that counts is how we use the qualities with which we have been endowed, not the qualities themselves.” Luc Ferry, A Brief History of Thought (2011) at 73.

                There is a place in the universe for all qualities. What matters is how we chose to use our  gifts. When we use them to make the world a better place we live to our highest level.

                  May 5th, 2012

                  The Greatest Sin




                  C.S Lewis in Mere Christianity teaches there are sins of the flesh and sins of the mind. To Lewis the greatest sins of these two sin categories are sins of the mind. Lewis maintains the worst sin of the mind is to think we are better than another. Thus, to Lewis the sanctimonious long time church goer who judges the prostitute entering church as a sinner and non worthy is a greater sinner than the prostitute.

                  William Blake goes further saying the only sin is the accusation of sin. “Accusation in any of its forms, is a negative judgment, and a negative judgment in any form ruptures relationship-the classical definition of sin.” Joseph Chilton Pearce, The Biology Of Transcendence (2002) at 128.

                  Both are correct. To hold yourself  superior to another is wrong. It is the badge of arrogance and conceit. On a universal level this thought process destroys nations. Remember we are all made up of the same cosmic stuff. We are all in constant motion. We are all in this together. No one’s cosmic stuff is better than another’s cosmic stuff.

                    April 29th, 2012

                    Appreciate Your Health

                    Health is a funny thing. When we feel good we usually assume this is how we are supposed to be. We take feeling good for granted. When we get sick it is often an all encompassing experience. We are faced with at least a temporary loss of our health-our feeling good-and we don’t like it at all.

                    Of course we have control over our health to a great extent. We usually have no control over traumatic injury occurring, and we lack control over genetic health issues. But we do control what we eat. We do control what we put into our body in the form of water, food, drugs and alcohol. We do control our activity level. When we make wise choices in the areas we do control we are rewarded with health.

                    Try living in a way that maximizes your health. You will be the beneficiary of a better life. You will save resources that can be used to help those who need the help from a health standpoint. And you may be so lucky that you can take your health for granted-at least until you lose it.